So last night I'm in bed, fast asleep, and I hear a bit of scuttling from behind the wall. I'm not suprised or concerned; since the weather is getting colder the little animals run up and down the walls OUTSIDE sometimes.
And yet, the scuttling and scratching grew louder. and closer. AND SCARIER. And at TWO IN THE FREAKING MORNING I am woken by a loud thud and VERY CLOSE LOUD SCUTTLING. And as I put on my light and specs, I see a GIANT SQUIRREL SCOOT INTO THE BATHROOM. And it is not the only one!!!
I jumped out of bed and slammed the door to the bath, trapping the bath squirrel (who later drowned in the toilet: Mary 1, Squirrel Army 0). Then I grabbed some clothes and my handbag and ran from my flat. (Ok, Mary 1, Squirrel Army 1).
I drove to a friend's house (who is even lovelier for not being way pissed off at me for rocking up at two-thirty in the morning and crashing on her couch) and stayed there. I phoned the 24 hour maintenance hotline and was told "Oh, sorry, animal invasions are not on our list of things to bother with. Even in the middle of the night, when it is 20 degrees F outside and you have had to flee." Thanks, maintenance hotline bastards. I hope squirrels get in your house too. And eat all your pretzels.
So today the building manager informs me of the death of the bath squirrel (Yay!) but that they have 1) not been able to find the other squirrels and 2) they can't find where they might have come in. So building management's position is "oh, well, one dead squirrel in the toilet is okay, come on back and live here" whereas my position is "NEVER AGAIN IN THAT HOUSE IN THE NIGHT TIME." I'm sure we'll come to some reconciliation. But probably not tonight.
So if I ring you up in the middle of the night and come live on your sofa, this is why.
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2 comments:
Poor you! Of course this would never happen in the UK. Think about it. You need to come back and stay! Looking forward to seeing you soon x Ali
Thursday I showed Its a Wonderful Life to my intro comp students and the scene where Uncle Billy has a squirrel on his shoulder caused an audible reaction from me given your situation, which left my students quite confused. I hope the situation has improved. If not, you're welcome to come stay with us. But that mornin' commute to work will be a bitch.
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